Sometimes life can get a bit hard…like when you are told that you have to pay £45 for a halls dinner, or when you check the night bus times and see that you have to wait another 17 minutes for one to come in the freezing cold. Life can get especially hard when you have had a bit too much of the happy juice. Getting happy and then suffering certain problems has been quite common here and I thought I would give you all a template of a typical night out at Imperial as a fresher:
Start the evening. Happy juice is flowing in the common room or kitchen. The 3 or 4 girls that have decided to come out with the 30 imperial boys are still getting changed in their room, so currently it’s a cheeky lads pre drinks. Music is playing, aftershave is abundant and there is one quiet boy in the corner of the room writing down the journey everyone will be embarking on tonight to get to the club.
Girls arrive. The 4 girls have now turned the lad drinks into a real pardy. If you are lucky they may have convinced a girl from another halls to come along too…but this is rare. The girls sip on their ciders whilst the boys chug down their bottles of wine. It is then decided by one person in the room that it is, indeed, time to go. The mission to the venue has begun.
The boys are pretty rowdy as the happy juice has given them confidence to do pretty much anything. The girls are getting giggly and the world is just a generally happier place. You then get to the station for “topping up oysters”. The more happier of the crowd tend to strut through barriers, tapping in their oyster card in an inventive way. You are then greeted by several other friends from other halls (of course it’s more boys) who have brought everyone some more happy juice disguised as a bottle of water or coke -because no one will ever work that one out. Everyone drinks a little more and gets a bit more happy.
Arrive at the club and people are sobering up after your impromptu group performance of “Wonderwall” you gave the whole tube carriage. You head straight to the bar as a lad shouts “JAGER BOMBS” and that is when the night takes a turn for the worst.
This is where your night is decided. Which type of happy person you become will affect not only your night but everyone else’s night around you.
- The really friendly one- How do you even know so many people? You don’t. My hall friends have befriended so many strangers and homeless people on nights out that I have actually become impressed.
- The flirty one- If you are a girl at Imperial this is a dangerous one to be. Keep your wits about you and your friends surrounding you or else you will have a fun walk home tomorrow!
- The sleepy one- This one gets to the club and just falls asleep somewhere. They probably didn’t want to come out that night because they were too tired but fell into peer pressure and has now ended up asleep on the nearest available surface. Strong.
- The emotional one- Alcohol affects your brain people! You can uncontrollably cry for 4 hours outside Reynolds if you drink too much! If you feel the tears coming for no reason you need to get yourself quickly to a surface to rest your head and become the “sleepy one”.
- The temporarily rich one- They buy everyone drinks. They have all the money in the world that evening because they are confident that they definitely do. The next morning they most certainly won’t.
- The dancing one- This one finds circles and jumps into the centre of them to show off their horrific dance moves. They grind, they shake, they robot. They may appear like they are having a mild seizure but they are just having a good time.
- The generally weird one- This mainly is one set of boys here at Imperial who get happy and then become very, very weird. Some things just aren’t for blogging though.
Then what happens? You all lose each other and then regroup at the end of the evening. After the riveting mission of getting everyone home safely you convene in the common room for a debrief of the evening.
Nights out here may follow a certain routine but they are always full of awful stories for the next day. One thing for sure is that I will vow to take care of my liver for the next 6 years, even if happy Mala doesn’t want to!
P.S. Has anyone seen the pink cot/manger I left in Reynolds?