What Type of Imperial Medic Fresher are you?

For most of us that came to Imperial we were the geeks of our schools- the hardworking “sciency” ones. Our individualities and personal quirks were built around this fact. However because everyone has passed the same interview to get into here it means that everyone is a hardworking, science geek with lots of hobbies.  So how can we stand out and become individual all over again? What are the new stereotypes you can choose from as an Imperial Medic Fresher? (Note: You may be more than one!)

Bollywood Back Row- You know who you are. We know who you are. You will either catch them asleep in the back row after a late night out at PI or discussing an event happening at another London University. Occasionally you will catch them practicing a dance before a CX lecture.

If you see them: They will probably offer you a ticket to something assuring you it will be the best night evaaa!

Drinking Game Addicts- Don’t get me wrong, I love a good drinking game. But some medic freshers are addicted to making every situation turn into a drinking game. Whether you are watching a film, listening to a song or en route to a lecture there are always rules for when you should “drink”. I was once approached by a DGA yelling “LATE FINE” at me for being a few minutes late to leave for lectures…at 8:30am.

If you see them: Run if you hear the words “High Ball”.

Medics who don’t want to be Medics: You won’t ever see them except in lectures. They have already decided that the medic life is not for them and have slid into IC activities. In 3 or 4 years when their IC friends have graduated they will probably return…muhahaha.

If you see them: Shout ICSM. Loudly.

Membership Collectors- Part of every society and attending every talk these freshers have really dived into university extra-curriculars. Their day is filled with lectures and then hours of clubs until they collapse for 2 hours sleep. They will often be complaining about how “stressed” they are and how they have “no time to do anything” despite the fact they have opted to do every single club themselves.

If you see them: You probably won’t see them, let’s be honest.

“Sporty” Girls- There are sporty girls and there are sporty sporty girls. The latter love sitting in a circle and are known for being able to avoid the number 21. They look their best on Wednesday nights and their worst on Thursday mornings.

If you see them: Make sure they get home safely.

“Sporty” Boys- Living in halls with some of these sporty boys has given me an insight into their interesting behaviours. For example, it has become acceptable for them to walk back to halls at 8am with no shoes and no one will question them. If you think you are low on money, check the sporty fresher boys’ bank accounts! You can usually recognise a sporty boy because they will probably be dressed as a girl.

If you see them: Offer to help them find their dignity.

Freshers FB Groupers– Before they had even started university they were writing on the facebook group everyday…and now a term in they are still finding it hard to stop posting. They have to refrain from asking “what is everyone doing tonight?” or “who is going to lectures today?” because this has now become socially unacceptable.

If you see them: Take their laptop and phone away from them. Please.

The Hall Snapchatters– These medic freshers are obsessed with their halls. They are also obsessed with snapchats. Their hobbies are either chilling in their halls common room, snapchatting in their halls common room or snapchatting out in public with friends from halls. Let’s not forget the “kitchen parties” they have which normally consist of a few people awkwardly cooking whilst 20 or so students snapchat.

If you see them: Don’t give them your snapchat username.

Good Medics- (Yes, Mum and Dad, this is my category I promise). You can spot a good medic as they will be answering and asking questions in lectures, reading up on lectures before the lecture or will be awake on a Thursday morning. They will also come to the tutorial 20 minutes early to explain the tutorial to everyone else, and will be the only ones who can find the “on” button on the microscope in practicals. Good medics are the backbone to fresher medics and everyone loves them.

If you see them: Sit diagonally behind them in lectures so you can see their notes on their laptop.

If you don’t fall into any of these categories then no need to be alarmed, you are probably just very hipster. If you fit into more than one category then be very proud as you are a versatile creature. I am very intrigued to see how fresher stereotypes change over the years at medical school though.

Mala Mawkin

4 comments for “What Type of Imperial Medic Fresher are you?

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