Dr (John) Tregoning and Dr (Charlie) Tregoning discuss roadblocks and solutions to equality in childcare.
We have as a couple, tried and sometimes succeeded but most often failed to share parenting fairly. Drawing from our own experience and a very shallow skim read of how to books, here are what we consider to be some of the major problems to equality at home as two working parents and some possible solutions. This is not to say every parent should go back to work; do what is best for your own family, but remember to be honest with yourself about what you really want and include yourself in the ‘what is best for my family’ calculation.
What society wants
Since the introduction of split parental leave in the UK in 2015, only 1% of fathers have taken it (based on 2015/16 figures). Why is this? Societal expectations are the major barrier to equality in childcare (in 2014 – 33% of people thought mums should stay at home compared to essentially 0% who thought dads should stay home: the flipside 73% thought dads should work full time and 28% thought mums should work full time – but only after the kids go to school). Going against the societal norm is tricky and requires reserves of energy, time and self-belief that you are doing the right thing. When the right thing is also difficult and financially unrewarding these reserves can be depleted, eroding your will. (more…)